The Rainbow Bridge - Furball and I

I never thought I'd be updating my blog this New Year's Day. I was planning to do it this coming weekend but a furry little friend of mine made me. Here's our short story...

Almost three weeks ago, I was on my way home from work and was waiting for an FX along P. Tuazon in Quezon City with my co-worker when we heard a tiny meow coming from somewhere near us. I couldn't ignore and looked back and I saw this seemingly newborn kitten already near a manhole, crying and meowing, probably scared because she's alone and her eyes are still closed. She had thick, white fur with two patches of gray on her hear. Such a cute little one. I couldn't leave her there to die so even if I knew it would upset my mom, I still brought her home. I had to help her live, she had to live.

I nursed and fed her, I found an old cosmetics box which I no longer use and made it her "room". She has two small pillows to play with and pink Pooh face towel as gifts to her from my niece. I made sure she was warm and well-fed and even brought her with me to work, much to the dismay of some bosses because I was attending to her when I was supposed to be working (Yeah, my bad, I know).

I felt so much joy when her eyes started to finally open. And every time her tiny paws reach for my finger like she was playing with me, I always tell her that she'll live 15 years and we'll grow old together. I was happy and have grown to love Furball. Oh, I named her Furball, by the way. I once again had a pet and I convinced my mom and aunt that I can keep her even though I have asthma.

Since the 30th, she has been a very sleepy kitten, easily falling asleep and meowing only when I stirred her up, then back to sleep. I still make her drink milk and she'd fall asleep right after. Then last night, just half an hour before midnight and New Year, she refused to drink milk and was very, very weak. She wouldn't move and just lie down, she won't even make a sound. I knew she was sick and had to keep her warm. I made a makeshift bed and blanket out of a small face towel and placed her beside me on my bed. I wake up every now and then to make sure she's alive. I woke up this morning to find her snuggled on my arm and was sleeping there. She seemed fine - she was once again meowing and was moving a lot. Then suddenly, she was weak again. I held her on my hand and realized how weak she really was and wouldn't move. Then she made a silent meow 3-4 times and pee'd and she's gone. I couldn't believe how quick that was.

I can't stop crying because I love that kitten, she has really found a spot in my heart. I don't know what else I could've done to save her and see her being the naughty kitten that she was. She's still in her "room" lying down because somehow, I am still hoping she's only asleep and will spring back to life. I still kiss her forehead and caress her but I know I'll never see those sweet, innocent eyes again. Never. So in an attempt to comfort myself because I have lost this cute little furball that came into my life a few weeks ago, I found a poem. A poem about pets and their carers reunited once again in the distant future. Who knows, maybe I'll see Furball together with all the other cats I had since I was a kid someday. I hope Tinkerbell, Cedie, Malikot, Kuting, Fluffy, Red, White, Black, and the others welcome her on her new home in heaven. :)

Here's the poem...

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. 

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. 

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. 

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

Cheers,

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The Pact

Some of you are probably wondering why I made such a pact with myself when it comes to my purchasing habits. It's not like that happened overnight but it also needed a little work. Now I know that if I tell you the reason, it might bore you but I'm doing so anyway. I'll tell you how my life has changed in the past few months. 

In the last quarter of 2011, when I was taking a little time out from blogging, I was busy at work, getting shocked and eventually getting used to it. And most importantly, I was doing a bit of reflection. See, from the corporate world, I made a drastic shift when I accepted a job offer from a cooperative, which is pretty much the same as credit unions. I won't tell the specific cooperative I am working at but it is pretty much known in the whole Philippines. Anyway, here's a little flashback on my first month at work.

It was a culturally-shocking first month for me because it is so much different from the corporate world, more so, the people are so much different. These people are so simple. So simple that anything more than Php 250 (less than $6) is already expensive for them. Why? They definitely know the importance and value of money. With the little pay they get because a large portion goes to paying off their loans from the coop, I know that every little cent counts. 

I remember the first time I did the payroll and made a mistake (her salary was short by Php 18 (less than $0.50), she called my attention and wanted to know where it went. That's when I realized that every single cent do count for them. I also remember when I was computing their overtime pay when I noticed that some of the security guards do double shifts even on their supposed rest days. For what? To get an extra earning of Php 2000 (less than $50). At that moment, I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom. That hit me hard and made me realize how materialistic I have been over the years. How selfish I was to complain that what I was earning wasn't enough when it was actually more than enough for someone else's family. Yes, it wasn't enough only for my material wants and not even needs. I felt guilty that I spend that much on just one single foundation when someone does not get enough sleep for a day just to earn extra money so he can feed his family. 

I felt bad because I also wanted to help them but knowing that I cannot do much is even more frustrating. And I cannot believe how annoyed I was at first when they keep checking out my things and keep saying "Mahal siguro yan" (that's probably expensive) and "Mayaman ka kasi" (because you're rich) and I am not. I think it was pretty normal to get annoyed but the moment you understand why, you'll realize it's nothing really annoying. 

So I asked myself, "What if I want to try something and my lemming's really strong?". That's when I thought of making a pact. Instead of buying and buying, I should let go of something in exchange for that new item. So instead of spending the extra money I have, I can use it to help others instead. I'm helping two people from work who are both old enough to be my parents. When they no longer have money left even for fare, they come to me and I'll give them something. It's an arrangement I made with them. I don't care if they use it somewhere else but all I know is that I am doing that in good faith. 

Yes, these people are so much different from the people I used to work with. They don't care much about material things. They'd rather spend their money on their family than buy something for themselves. Most of them are from the provinces. Most of them only finished high school. But that does not make me any better than them. They are the simplest people I have ever met. The ones who made me realize the value of money. They are the ones who taught me that we can be happy even without having too much material things. That I have been selfish all along. That I can live a minimalist life. They helped me become a better person and appreciate what I have. 

Then I realized another thing.. Maybe there is a reason why I keep quitting my jobs back then even if they pay really well. And that is for me to be able to work at this company so I can be a better person.

That, my friends, is how my life has changed in just a span of a few months. Of course, I am still a work in progress but I am getting there. I am not the same impulsive buyer that I am. I now know how to eat at turo-turos, and best of all, I have quit smoking (hey, I wasted a lot of money on cancer sticks). My mom even said that I'm no longer as snobbish as I used to be. Yey!:) Anyway, you might not have finished this post out of boredom but a huge thanks for bearing wit me. 

Please do note, however, that this post isn't meant to insult anyone. I am only sharing my story.

Have you realized anything lately?

Happy Thursday, super awesome peeps! :)

Cheers,

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A Pre-Halloween Story

Halloween is almost here, everyone! I hope you're all doing great. It has been a week since I've last made a post. Anyway, as the title suggests, I will be telling a story, or maybe two, that I experienced just this week. But before I do, I'd like to share the makeup I did on one of the participants for our group's Halloween presentation at work. That was the first time I did such makeup on someone so please bear with my being a newbie.

Ate M played the role of a mother whose very own child killed her by burning her alive, thus, the makeup. She won the best in costume and makeup for women! And the guy who played the role of her husband, whose makeup I also did with stitches and all, also won the same category for men. Yey!

Practicing on myself. I got one of the committee members fooled for thinking this was real. Said she had goosebumps when she saw my hand and kept asking what happened to me.

This, on the other hand, looked so fake but I still managed to fool a couple more to think that this was real. XD

Anyway, on to the stories.

The first one happened last Thursday night while we were rehearsing for the first and last time for our presentation. The story is about a girl who played with the Ouija board but I won't tell the rest of the story. Anyway, part of the story was calling on to spirits on a makeshift Ouija board. Although I was getting uncomfortable about it (even though I wrote the story and the script), we went on with the scene. Then a maintenance man (who was part of our group since their department is also under the HR) suddenly told me that there are a few spirits walking towards us. I remember someone telling me that that man's third eye is open. I shrugged it off at first until I felt something cold on my shoulders and my head started getting numb. I moved away and sat somewhere else. As Mang L and I were talking about it, I felt something really cold that I shivered for a while as I was having goosebumps. He then told me that there is a little boy.

Fast forward to us being taken home by the company driver. I felt weird and uneasy the whole time which was kinda strange. The maintenance man was at the back of the van and he suddenly transferred beside me and sort of tried to amuse me and made me laugh. When I was finally home, I went straight to the rest room but I got out as fast as I can for some reason. Before that, I was limping because my foot is injured and bandaged but I totally ignored the pain and moved really quick.

I went to my room and my mom was there playing on my laptop and we were talking about random stuff when my aunt knocked and went inside, almost in tears. When asked why, she started telling us that there are a lot of "people" walking around in her room and one was even touching her and caressing her arm. She already had a lot of encounters with spirits before but she said that was the first time she ever felt that scared. So she asked if she can sleep in my room (which my mom also did) and I decided to get the slanted chair in her room so she can sleep on it. The lights were off and I couldn't go inside so I just slowly reached for the light switch and switched it on. That room has never felt so creepy before. My mom didn't want me to go in alone so she decided to go with me. I felt my hair raising, goosebumps all over me. Same thing happened to my mom. It felt unusually cold in that room. When we were back in my room, my aunt told me that the only time she felt the spirits was when she heard me going up the stairs. Then we slept.

The following day, I was at work and I told Mang L, the man from the night before, about it, he only said "Sabi ko na nga ba eh" (I knew it). He knew that a few spirits came with me on our house. Anyway, we rehearsed at 6pm on the stage after work. The same thing happened, calling on the spirits on the Ouija board and the same eerie feeling was once again there. I went to the bathroom alone and as I was zipping my pants, a female voice whispered something in my ear, which once again made me walk fast, ignoring my injury again and told Mang L about it. He just said that it's one of those that came the night before.

When I had to do their makeup, I had to wash my hands every once in a while and each time I went to the bathroom, I keep glancing on the mirror because it felt like someone was there, watching me. I shrugged it off again. When everyone was gone, Mang L remained sitting on a chair. I asked why he doesn't want to leave me alone and he simply smiled. I then asked if someone was following me around, and he said yes. I asked if it was a man, and he agreed again. When I asked if that man wanted to harm me, he said no. He said that man was just amused with me so he decided to follow me around.

After our presentation, I was sitting on a chair while watching other groups present when I once again had goosebumps and the numb feeling on my head. After about half an hour, Mang L told me that the man was gone and it was now an old man who stood behind me but he eventually went away. Good thing is I went home without any companions. :D

Anyway, I hope there won't be any more "stories" after these two for now as I don't think I can manage to walk as fast as I did before. :D

On a lighter note, I got a couple more goodies.

Wedge shoes

Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser
Majolica Majorca Skin Lingerie Pore Cover
Celeteque DermoScience Hydration Make Up Remover Cleansing Facial Wipes
L'Oreal TR5 Daily Repair Treatment

And more books! :P

Have you had any "stories" lately?

Happy Halloween, everyone! :)

Cheers,

P.S. The stories I shared are based on my real experience as I don't think such things should be made up.
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A Letter for Daddy

Dear Daddy,

It has been 11 years since I've last seen you smile at me. I miss those times when I feel that no matter what happens, I'll be safe in your arms. That everything will be alright because I know that you will always be there.



I miss your laugh, your dishes that always make me say "mmmm" because they taste so good. I'll never forget when summer just officially started and I was hanging out with my cousins then you called me and handed me a 3-inch thick biology book which you wanted me to study in advance. And school just ended. T'was ridiculous but I understood why. :)

I'll never ever forget how I used to sleep on your tummy when I was still a toddler. How I miss those times when you sing to me "And I love You So" when you put me to sleep when I was a kid. God, I hated Sam Milby because I felt he ruined the song. :P And how you smiled and laughed when I asked you to marry me when I was 5.

Life has never been the same without you. It has been a little over a decade, yet, I still sometimes wish I can go back to those times when you're still with me and mom. But one thing will always remain the same, I am still your girl - a daddy's girl.

Today marked the 11th year since you passed away and please always remember that I'll give anything just to see you once again, to feel your warm hug and unconditional love again. I still sometimes cry myself to sleep holding your picture whenever I'm hurt or when I just simply miss you.

I wish someday, I can hear you say, "We did a good job raising you" and I can see you play with your grandchildren. But I can only wish.

I'll see you someday and when that day comes, I wonder if you'd recognize me or if you'll even remember that I am your daughter. And if you do, I'll forever be happy. It would be nice if I would also transform to the little girl you used to carry in your arms. :)

I love you, Daddy. And I miss you so much.

Love,
Your girl :)


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I died...of too much cuteness!

Seen this video?



And this one too. But with this one, I died of laughter.



Sorry, I can't help it. :) Read more...

First FOTD at 26! (I'm a year older again.)

An FOTD to welcome my 26th year of existence. :P


Alright, I'm not getting any younger. I turned 26 last Sunday and it was such a super awesome way to celebrate my being in the mid-20's by staying in bed the whole day. I was down with flu. :( Saturday night, I was on my way home with a friend after having dinner and we were both a little tipsy. We hit a small tree. And I have scoliosis so my back hurt a lot. Let's do a little backtrack.

I was about to go home Saturday afternoon after meeting a friend at Megamall. Had snacks at Wham! and coffee at Krispy Kreme then checked out Forever 21. I felt dizzy because it was super jampacked. I can't stay long in an enclosed space that is really crowded. After that, he dropped me off at EDSA Shang to take the MRT but I received an sms from another friend saying he'd treat me for dinner since it was almost my birthday. Thinking that it'll be easier than taking the MRT (it was rush hour and I already have fever that time), I agreed. He picked me up from EDSA Shang and went somewhere in Timog. After having dinner and a pitcher of zombie, we decided to go home. Alcohol took effect and we were both a little tipsy. While singing along with Afroman's Because I Got High (mind you, we weren't high, i just like the song a lot), his sense of direction was kinda clouded and sorta got lost. I have very poor sense of direction to begin with so I cannot drive. We didn't notice we were nearing the dead end and good thing is there was a small tree and we hit it instead. No one was majorly hurt except that he sort of hurt his shoulder and I strained my back when we suddenly went to a full stop. After realizing we were both okay, we decided to go home and the tipsy feeling was gone. We were suddenly sober.

Lesson learned 1: Never ever drink and drive. Or at least never let the one driving drink a lot. If there's someone who gets drunk, it shouldn't be the person sitting on the driver's seat.

When I woke up the following day, I have flu, cough, and cold. And it was my birthday! Realized that it's because I walked under the rain a few days back. They say that if that happens to you, you should immediately take a shower. I didn't because I just took a shower then went out to 711 and was on my way home when it rained. And our house is just one house away from 711. Until today, I'm still a little sick.

Lesson learned 2: Heed the elders' advice. Take some, if not most, of them seriously. You might not be able to cook and celebrate your birthday.

How I celebrated it? I took a walk down memory lane by watching movies in the 90's that I loved as a kid. I watched the following:
- 3 Ninjas
- 3 Ninjas Kick Back
- 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up
- 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain (with Hulk Hogan)

I couldn't get enough of Tumtum, Colt, Rocky, and of course, the ninja grandpa who is like Mr. Miyagi. :P

I also watched Power Rangers the Movie! I like the Yellow Ranger a lot. :P

I just remembered what happened 2 weeks ago. I went to 711 to buy a pack of cancer sticks then the lady at the cashier asked how old I am and when I told her I'm 25 with a confused look on my face, she asked for an ID. I was thinking, "This isn't the first time I bought ciggies from you."
Anyway, that just made me laugh and it makes me smile just by remembering that.

Anyway, sorry for the long post about my birthday misadventures. And oh, I think I had another misfortune just now. I received these lippies in the mail this morning.


And now, one of them broke. It's the Bourjois Rose Tendre that broke. The lippie on the right. Gah! :(

Anyway, happy Tuesday! :P
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I think I lost a few inches off my waist!

I don't know if I'm just imagining things or I really lost a couple of inches off my waist. I have worn my yellow shirt once and it felt extremely tight and uncomfortable. When I wore it today, it felt just right and suprisingly, it felt comfy enough. So I took a picture and I looked for a shot a few weeks ago. Here they are.

Third week of July

Today

Funny I'm wearing the same boxers on both pics. Haha! :P

There were less bulges on my waist and tummy. Haha! I dunno. I never went on a strict diet but it could be that I haven't eaten chips or junk food for weeks now and less soda. Even my jeans no longer feel tight. And the same goes for my other shirts that usually hugs my body making my bulges look more obvious but now, they look better. I'm liking it and I will continue doing it. I still eat regular meals though. Whaddaya girls think?

Anyway, I'm heading out for the day and
here's my simple make up of the day.

Have a great Tuesday, ladies! :P
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A Dog of Flanders

Yeah, this is a non-beauty related post. I'm just wondering if you guys remember the cartoons shown in ABS-CBN in the early 1990's, A Dog of Flanders? Nello and his dog Patrasche?





I do. I remember crying over the show and be embarassed when my mom and dad sees my crying because of it. I cried watching this show more than I did with Princess Sarah, Cedie, and Remi: Nobody's Boy/Girl. Well, I just thought of watching it a couple of hours ago thinking that it'd be nice to watch a show I loved when I was still a kid. Oh boy. I spent the night crying my eyes out while watching this really sad and heartbreaking yet beautiful movie. I think I used up a pack of Kleenex while watching it and hugging my pillow tight. It's just nice to once again watch this movie. It was full of emotions and fantastic. I won't get tired of watching it and in the future, I'll definitely have my kids watch this as well. May be dramatic but I'm sure it'll help them learn a thing or two about love and loyalty. Gah! I want a dog! :P

If you're wondering where you can watch it, just search for it in YouTube. It may be chopped in parts but it's definitely worth watching. There's also another version with real people in the movie that had a happy ending. Nello became a successful artist. But nothing beats the emotions shown in the original version.

Happy Monday, girlies. :)


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Did my review just got stolen?

For some reason, I encountered my review of the Marionnaud N32 Slanted Blush Brush on a site other than this one. I encountered it here.

And they did not even bother to contact me if they can "use" my review or something. If there is a live person behind that site, please remove that post. You copied every single word except for the picture. I took the time to write that review, not only for someone to use it without my knowledge. If they did contact me, it would've been fine. But that was sneaky and a form of stealing, IMO. If it's just a bot responsible for that, all I can say is "Jeez!".

I took screen shots just in case that post gets removed. At least I have proof.





Is there anyone who has encountered the same thing? :(

It's just annoying. Read more...

A Daddy and a Daddy's Girl

There was once a little girl who was daddy's little princess. He was her prince charming. They would do things together. She uttered her first word while lying on his tummy. He brought and picked her up from school, sometimes even staying there, waiting for his little girl. They'd do things together as her mommy's super busy with work. Her favorite word was daddy and her world revolved around him. She even asked him, "Daddy, will you marry me when I get older?" which brought a huge smile on his face and even on her mom's.

The little girl then started growing up and wanted to know what's out there in the real world. But her daddy never allowed her to go out with her friends, even though she was already in high school. When she was 14, she once asked him, "Daddy, how come you never allow me to go out with my friends? The mall's just a few minutes away from here. I'm the only one who can't go malling with them." He simply told her, "Your mommy and I just want to spend all the time with you while we still can as you will eventually get older and would want to hang out with other people more than us." But she refused to understand what he said and became rebellious. She even said some mean things to her dad that broke his heart and made him say that she's no longer the same girl that he used to have, but still, he continued to love her as she is his child.

After a year, the daddy found out that he has cancer and was told that he only had 4 months left to live. When his daughter got home from school, the dad hugged her tight and started crying while he told her that he's sick. That's when she realized how wrong she was and she regret being a bad daughter. While he was under medication, they did their best to rebuild their relationship. She took care of him and prepared his medicines, served him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He was finally doing better and lived beyond the 4 months he was told. Even though he was not allowed to have meat, he still cooked for her. And it was still delicious even though he never tasted it. He'd still wait for his daughter by the gate after school and would carry her bag for her as they go inside the house. They thought everything was going well for them.

Then the summer of May 2000 came. Everyone was busy for college applications. He was going to accompany her to get application forms for the UPCAT on 11 May. On the evening of 10 May, the whole family spent the evening playing cards and laughing their hearts out. It was kind of odd as he never played cards with them before. He doesn't like cards. The 11th of May came and he told his wife and his daughter that they'll go to UP on another day as he was having tummy pains. After the mom gave him meds, he told her to go to work as he'll be fine. During lunch, he asked his daughter to buy ice cream and they shared it.

It was already mid-afternoon when he told her to call his in-laws as he can no longer bear the pain in his tummy. They came and rushed him to the hospital. The daughter realized her dad was in so much pain as he kept bugging the doctors for pain killers but they won't give him any as the signs are not good. She felt utterly helpless as she cannot do anything to help ease the pain of the man who has protected her from all the pain out there all throughout her 15 years and has done everything to cheer her up when she's sad, made her smile on the days when she was feeling blue, and gave her the best hug that made her stop crying when she was hurt. She stayed beside him and told him to wait for her mommy as she is on her way to the hospital and he nodded. Then after an hour and a half, everyone started rushing to her dad's bed and tried to revive him. But it was too late. Her dad was gone. Then the mom came just as they proclaimed he was officially dead. Her world fell apart and she felt like a helpless little girl without her prince charming and uttered the words, "You said you'll never leave me" on his funeral.

After a couple of years, while fixing his things as they were preparing to move to another house, she saw a card that has her name on it. She opened it and found out that it was a card he wrote on her very first birthday. It even told her to read the card when she's old enough to understand. She was supposed to be named Paul as he was expecting to have a baby boy. Instead, he had a baby girl. On the card he wrote, "I was expecting a baby boy but when I first saw you and your smile, I told myself that you are my child and it no longer matters if you're a boy or a girl. I love you so much that my whole life would be nothing without you. I love you, child." And he spent 15 years loving her unconditionally.


It has been 10 years since my dad passed away and I terribly miss him. I once remember an interview where the interviewer asked me that if I have just one wish, what would I wish for. Of course, it's to have my dad once again. I had no intention of posting anything like this but someone at ym sent me a message with a happy father's day greeting and told me to go hug my dad. I told him that I'd give anything just to be able to once again hug my dad and feel the same comfort and love that I'll never ever feel in the arms of any other man. I used to hate this day as I thought it was so unfair that other girls get to celebrate this day with their dads and I can't. But you know what, my thinking has changed. I smile just by seeing little girls and their dads being sweet to each other. At least through that picture, I get to remember how my dad and I used to be and I'll never lose that image of him holding me.

So to all of you whose dads are still alive and kicking, spend all the time that you can with them as they won't forever be here with us. I so envy you. :)

Happy Father's Day! :) Read more...

I've been a naughty girl... -_-

I know, I know. I've been a naughty girl. I had to go through the drama of leaving on a jet plane just to go on with the joke. I had to do a little white lie when I answered Crystal's q if it was for real or simply a delayed April fool's day joke. Teehee! ;) If I posted this last 1 April then there's a bigger chance that no one will believe so I delayed this just a little bit. :P

At least I learned something from this joke, though. And that is there is someone (or maybe others that I am not aware of) who would really love to see me go. Tsk tsk. You can't really please everybody. Almost took the joy out of this prank but not enough to do so. :P

But anyway, it was fun and in a way touching seeing those messages. I love you girls! :P

And Kristine, I will really go to SF for a visit one of these days. Let's meet then. :) Read more...

Farewell

I would like to say thank you to everyone who welcomed me into the blog world. It has been a pleasure meeting each and everyone of you. I'm taking this opportunity to say farewell to my fellow bloggers, whom I have considered as friends in this online world. I'll be leaving the country for good on the 12th of April. Time to live a new life. I don't know if I can continue blogging though but it has really been a pleasure getting to know you guys. I wish you all the best. Love you! :)

I'm leaving this cute kitten paw saying bye bye. :P Read more...

The Immortal Beloved

The First Letter
July 6, in the morning

My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful LUDWIG.


The Second Letter
Evening, Monday, July 6

You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

The Third Letter
Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine

ever mine

ever ours Read more...

New Layout

Special thanks to the very creative Dulcette. She was so patient in dealing with me as I can be one tenacious client. :D

So, how do you like it so far? I am digging it! :P Read more...

Make Up or Culinary School?

My mind was set on enrolling at a culinary school since I love cooking. But now, my love for make up has grown and I found myself checking out make up schools. Now I want to enroll at SOFA (School of Fashion and The Arts) and take up the short course for Basic Make Up. I am now confused and torn between culinary school and make up school. I love both! Gah!

Culinary School or Make Up School? Hmmmm... It's gonna be a difficult decision.

I'm thinking I can always cook. But then I can also apply make up anytime. Jeez! I can't decide.

If you were in my shoes, which would you go for? :P (Although I know you are all make up lovers.) I mean if you were to decide for me, which one would it be? :)

Haaaalp! :D Read more...

MIA for now

Heya ladies. Since I lost internet access at home, I would have to go MIA for now. I dunno until when but when I once again have internet at home, I'll definitely be back. This is just in time for my NO-BUY mode which officially started last October 2nd. But when I get back, I'll definitely post my blush and other make up acquisitions before my no-buy mode which I failed to post due to the recent unfortunate events that happened to us. I'll definitely miss blogging and hearing from you girls. Til then! :) Read more...

Flood + Work Update

Been MIA for a few days now. A few minutes after I made the "That's it!" post, water started coming in to the first floor of our house. It was something I never imagined would happen to us. That was the very first time we experienced that. Water rose in just a few minutes. We did our best to save stuff but the current was just too strong. We live in a big compound with 3 houses. We are all relatives. And ours is the only house with a second floor. So everyone started coming and bringing stuff with them. There are only 2 rooms on the second floor and it housed 4 families. One family is from San Mateo who pretty much lost everything. My kuya's (cousin) family was trapped on the second floor of their house and 2 cars went under water. While saving stuff, I even fell down the stairs because there was no electricity and I hit my head so hard it bounced back, So I ended up having a big bump on my head and a big bruise on my hip. It was a complete disaster as we relied on a few canned goods we were able to save for almost 3 days. The only time it sank in to me was when we were sorting stuff and realized I had to throw some things that belonged to my dad, mostly older than I am. I really felt bad because those are some things that reminds me of him and now I had to let go of some of the. It was a traumatizing experience in a sense that there was almost nothing to eat and we couldn't go out and buy food because the cars won't start and every store was closed and everyone's hungry. What made it even harder is having the kids tell us how hungry they were and we couldn't give them anything to eat. We are just thinking how lucky we still are because we never really lost our home. We lost part of it but we still have each other in the end. On my way to the office last night, I saw some parts of Marikina and I couldn't keep the tears from falling because it wasn't the Marikina I knew. It looked like a ghost town. We are basically natives of Marikina and seeing how devastated the place was was really hard for me. One more thing, I still have relatives in Vista Verde, Cainta who are still trapped on their roof. Lost their dogs, though. At least they are still alive. There was a speculation that a dam in Montalban, Rizal released water without warning, thus, causing the disaster. It would be hard to explain how the water rose very fast. Of course they would deny it if there is any truth to it because they will be held responsible for all the lives lost due to their stupidity. Here are some pictures I was able to take. I was supposed to take a picture of the bus moving with the water. That's how strong the current was but I was a little too late for that.

View from the second floor


The Aftermath (kitchen)

We are able to get by and we are thankful for it. However, there are families that lost their homes in our area and we would still like to extend help to them. We would like to give them food over the weekend. So please, if you can spare a few pesos for a pack of noodles or canned goods, please do let me know. Yes, my family has also been a victim but that doesn't mean we should stop helping the less fortunate ones.


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I finally resigned!!! Can you believe they still asked me to report to work last night even though they knew about what happened to us. Heartless! When I got to the office, someone told me that they saw a memo being prepared for me. They are planning to terminate me so we knew I had to beat them to that. With the help of someone, she printed my resignation letter and that is effective immediately. I stated inadequate training and unhealthy employer-employee relationship as reasons. I was more specific on the latter when I explained that it was unhealthy in a sense that it is so unprofessional to scheme and connive behind an employee's back. They accepted my resignation and I got my check. Before that, I had to let the seatmate know what I had in mind, I wasn't talking to her but to the other two but I made it clear how happy I was to finally put an end to all their bullshit. I thought it was over. They, too, thought it was over. When I was about to leave, together with the other girls who are going to take their breaks, I said goodbye and the boss even had the guts to say "Bye! Take care!" in a nice way. So plastic. I was on the door and I answered back, "Yeah, I will. And I hope no one will bitch-slap me behind my back again." and went straight out. I heard her calling my name and it seemed like she was going to confront me. But I'm so tired of the drama that I ran towards the stairs and went down as fast as I could so she won't catch up on me. Can you believe I took the stairs from the 9th floor all the way down to the ground floor? When the security men saw me, they asked why I had to take the stairs and I simply told them I was exercising. :P When I got out, I saw the girls there, without the boss. They were all smiles and they told me that the boss came down with them but at the last minute decided to just go back up. Maybe she chickened out. Hehe. I don't like humiliating anyone but as for that moment, I knew how I humiliated her in front of her subordinates with my one-liner. And I don't feel guilty at all. She deserved it. It was like endorphin rush for me. My knees were shaking from both the walking and the excitement. They had to go back to the office and I had to go. So that's finally the end of my appearance at my own hell's kitchen. :P I am so happy, girls. Freedom from stress, bullshit, and the loads of crap they have given me. I'm sure there's something better in store for me. Thank you for being supportive. Mwah! :P


PS


Thiamere and Gracie


Unfortunately, the packages for you were lying on the couch at the sala and yeah, there was water inside the pouches. Even though they were bubble-wrapped, I had to open each and every single blush and lightly stroke them with a small brush to see if they were damaged and thank God they weren't. So please don't be surprised if the seals are broken.

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Update- That's it! I'm done here!

Update at work. I know it's something I shouldn't be posting here and you guys might not be interested with what's going on at work. But anyway, I have to have some medium where I can say what I have in mind lately.

So I went to work last night and I tried to act normal as I could. When the boss got to the office, she greeted me. And right at that moment, I wanted so much to punch her in the nose for being plastic and pretentious. But of course, I want to have the last laugh so I controlled myself from doing that. But I guess I am really not as good as they are in acting because after just an hour of being there, it's getting obvious that I am not in a very good mood because I didn't wanna be there. I was seated right beside someone who is just as pretentious as the boss. And she's connived with that boss in backstabbing me. So the other girls were trying to make me feel better and telling me to just keep my cool and try to act normally as if I have no clue as to what they are doing.

Here's one more thing. How stupid do they think I am? I saw a girl (a stranger) sitted at the couch and she was there for an interview. The moment I saw her, I knew she will be interviewed for my post. That's what you call "harapang gaguhan". Do they really think I am that dumb to not know what they are doing? Someone told me that that girl is applying for my position. She saw 10 resumes and they are all applications for my post. She actually checked the resumes for me. I wanted to approach the applicant and ask her, "Do you know what you're getting yourself into?". Hehe. :P

Hours passed and I tried to get hold of my emotions but one thing really made me tell myself, "That's it! I'm done here!". We use voip and my phonebox is busted. It's been having problems since day 1. The BOSS (the owner of the company) was trying to fix it. And they found out that the phonebox belongs to the biatch boss. She goes to the room where the BOSS was right beside me since he was fixing it, tapped my shoulder and here's the flow of the conversation.

B**ch: Did you change the phonebox?
Me: No, it was already there when I got here.
B**ch: Did you know it was my phonebox?
Me: No. I just noticed that it was different and the lights were blue instead of yellow so I figured someone must've fixed it.
B**ch: Didn't I tell you to let me know everything about the phone problems?
Me: .....

(I was stunned. She just humiliated me in front of the BOSS.)

Then the person sitting next to me finally said that she's the one who switched the phonebox trying to fix my phone.

B**ch: Oh okay.

So where is the "Why didn't you tell me....blah blah blah yaddah yaddah yaddah" speech she gave me earlier? Beats the shit out of me.

The thing is when the shift just started, I rebooted my phonebox and I told the seatmate that the lights are now blue. And she said, "Maybe they fixed it."

SABOTAGE!!! It was a clear sabotage.

She could've told me she switched the phonebox when I initially told her about the lights, right?! And she chose not to. And she had to wait for a few minutes before telling the boss and the BOSS that she was the one who switched it. What the heck am I supposed to think about that.

That is my "That's it! I'm done here" moment.

I so wanted to hit them with the keyboard and throw the phonebox at them (the boss and the seatmate) but I know I shouldn't so I just went to the restroom and slammed the door. I made sure the seatmate heard it. I had to let my anger out so I just started crying. I super hate them! I don't deserve to be treated like crap. My parents didn't raise me up just to take shit from anyone. (OMG, just thinking about it makes me cry)
I stayed in the restroom sobbing for quite a long time. Because I had to let everything out.

When I got back to my desk, the three other girls added me on an msn conference where they all asked how I am at that time, and they tried to make me feel better. They knew everthing that's going on. One of them was even more upset than I am. They're all telling me I deserve better than that. And yes, I do deserve better than that. They knew my plan of resigning and are supportive about it. I was exchanging sms with the more-upset-than-I-am girl yesterday and she told me she was with her sister at that time who also got upset with what the boss is doing to me. They were telling me I don't have to take all that bullshit from them. And yes, I've had enough. And when I resign, I am definitely giving the boss a piece of my mind. Just because I have never defied her doesn't give her the license to treat me like I am some kind of an inferior creature.

Before going home, I spent an hour with the three girls. We talked about it and they made it clear to me that they are not happy with what's being done to me. The more-upset-than-I-am girl was really talking the whole time and it's funny how affected she is. I am really touched as to how they are supportive of me. And that they don't think the replacement can learn everything in a few weeks just by self-training (which is their training style) like I did. Not to be arrogant or what but they said even seatmate took 2 years to learn everything I learned in just 2 months. I'm better off with another company who will not treat me like shit. I am definitely going to miss them and the happy times.

The boss is such a liar. She told the more-upset-than-I-am girl that the openings are for an Admin Assitant and Purchasing Assistant posts yet on the 10 resumes, it clearly stated there that they are all applying for my post. What a liar!

Since the boss likes calling one's attention and sort of scolding them right in front of everyone as if to humiliate them (just like what she did to me), I am definitely going to let her know how it feels. I will certainly give her a piece ogf my mind. In front of everyone. And I'll make sure she won't be able to say a word when I'm done. Being a bitch is sometimes totally called for. She'll never know what hit her. Of course, it will still be work-related and I am going to target her professionalism and work ethics. No personal insults. Maybe there really is a good reason for this to happen. And maybe, just maybe, I was meant to work at that company for a reason. To teach that boss a lesson she and everyone else in the company won't forget. And that is to never ever treat your subordinates like shit because it will definitely get back to you.

PAYBACK IS A BITCH.



By the way, I have a couple of interviews next week. Just my luck. I hope I get hired. I am not going to include this company on my resume. I'd rather not talk about dirt and stuff.



Thank you for bearing with me.

P.S.

I love the rain but when it starts to flood, that's not cool. This is the first time i saw our street get flooded.


And to Thiamere and Gracie, so sorry I haven't shipped out your prizes. I've just been really stressed lately. Will ship it on Tuesday, promise. Read more...

Sneaky Little Devils

I am so fuckin' pissed right now. I thought I found the best people I've worked with. Well, I met two who really cared about me. I just found out that my boss was looking for someone to replace me because I always get sick. And they are doing it behind my back. C'mon! If they have a problem about it, why couldn't they just be upfront with me and tell me, "Hey, we have to let you go because you always get sick and we don't want sick people in the company." It'll be easier instead of doing a stupid connivance. I expect them to at least be professional about it, but heck NO! What do you call someone who acts behind your back and smile when you are with them? They are fuckin' stupid lying conniving bastards! I don't normally curse like this but this time, I am really fuckin' pissed. Can you believe they wanted me to go to work last Monday when I have sore eyes?! I went to work on Tuesday because they asked me to even though I still have sore eyes and when I got there, they wanted me to go home! I stayed. They're not even going to pay for my cab home! The other girl was so pissed because they are putting everyone else at risk. I have sore eyes, for goodness' sake! She told me to stay which I really intended to do that night. I wouldn't mind losing this job because seriously, the only reason why I still go to work are the new friends I found there. But the job itself? It's fucked up, really! I take calls, do sales, customer service, take care of backorder emails, respond to email queries, and take care of live chat too all at the same time. All at the freaking same time! I am no ubermensch! I can't believe I stayed there for 2 months. And I get sick all the time. I am stressed out. I've never been this sick before I started working at that company.

I rejected 3 offers from other companies just to stay with them and this company will just fuck wirth me?! The hell with them. I wish I can just give my resignation letter next week effective immediately and when I hand it to my boss, I'd tell her, "I am resigning today effective immediately. Here's my resignation letter and you can just shove it up your ass!". But I was advised by a friend I met there to just simply maintain my composure and surprise them with my resignation effective immediately and there will be no extensions. Those conniving bitches should eat my dust. Haha! Well, those two friends are really as upset as I am. And they still want me to come when they go out of town and I'll just be as normal as I can be since I will be there for them and not for the boss and her partner in crime.

Sorry ladies, I am not really like this and I don't talk trash but this time, it's really fucked up. They have been giving me nothing but rubbish! So on Monday, I am going to this company that called me yesterday asking if I am interested to work with them. And they can just shove their freakin' lingeries up their lily white asses! Those sneaky little devils.

>_<


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Is it a sin to want all these?

I want all these! But you can't have them all, right? -_-

Look at how gorgeous they look!

Benefit Coralista



Illamasqua Blush & Bronzing Duo


Illamasqua Powder Blush in Tweak (reddish pink) - what's with me and red blushes?!



CARGO Mendocino



Chanel Joues Contraste Tea Rose



But somehow, someday, I'll find a way to get my hands on them. :P

Christmas is nearing and if I'm a good girl, maybe I can have one or two. :D

Remember this blush I got for PHP85 at Saizen Daiso (Robinson's Galleria)? I decided to try it on just a few minutes ago and I swear it looked like NARS Orgasm/Deep Throat on the cheeks. Looks like I've discovered a very cheap dupe for NARS Orgasm/Deep Throat! :P


Ta! ^_^

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EDIT: I just had to edit this post and show what my 6-year old niece/goddaughter gave as a belated birthday present.




It's a cute bracelet. :P

Can you believe a 6-yr old made it?

You'd better believe it. She did all these. :P


And she wanted me to take this shot of her holding all her stuff. ^_^

Kikay child, right? And she likes digging into my make up box and looking at all the blushes. I think we're gonna hit it off in a few years and be blush whores! :P

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